Happy Birthday Miss Hardy
by Al Evans
Summary: It's Black Cat's birthday and she's having the time of her life, side by side with her husband, the Amazing Spider-Man


Peter leaned over in the bed, brushing her hair aside and planting a light kiss on her cheek. She turned around to meet his gaze, though the room was illuminated only from the dim night lights emanating from the window.

"Morning. How're you doing birthday girl?"

"Perfect." Purred Felicia Hardy.

Peter's luxurious diamond ring sparkled on Felicia's left hand as she pulled him in for another kiss. "I've been waiting for you to wake up for hours." She said Felicia after the broke apart.

"Then why did you seem fast asleep?"

"So you could wake me up Spider. Although I wouldn't exactly call 17.30 'morning'."

"Well, we are nocturnal creatures Cat. Our day's only just getting started."

Peter gave a wry smile that Felicia returned with a tiny laugh.

"Heh, seems like after all this time I've finally started to rub off on you."

At this Peter arched an eyebrow. "Mind saying that last part again?"

Felicia gave another little laugh as she leaned up in the bed and began looking around the room. She spotted her (very hastily) discarded black and white costume on the floor. She got up to retrieve it, turning to see Peter staring hungrily at her. "Where's your mask lover?" She asked.

"Oh. I took it off in the night, was getting all sweaty and uncomfortable with it on."

At this Felicia smiled wryly herself, her cheeks catching the corners of her own mask. "You didn't seem to mind that earlier when we... _appropriated_ this room."

Peter leaned back in the bed, his arms folded behind his pillow. "Well, I wasn't uncomfortable at the very least...I could keep it on for the rest of the day if you want."

Felicia gave a dismissive little shake of her head. "Spider...don't be stupid. Those days are long behind us. Although, you wearing it does spice up these secret little catnaps of ours."

She scanned the room briefly and saw Peter's mask lying beside a goldfish bowl on a shelf. "Weird decor." She said before tossing it onto the bed. This prompted Peter to begin gathering up the rest of his costume. Once they were both dressed they headed towards the window, preparing to swing off.

"Should we leave a tip?" Asked Peter.

"Well, we could always tell people that we highly endorse the rooms at the Ritz. Plenty of people would give them business once they knew Spidey and Black Cat have been 'busy' here."

Peter cocked his head in thought. "Nah. If we advertise something like that it'll be harder to swing by here again. Besides, we're coming back later for your party."

"Nice thinking." Said Felicia, leaning half outside the open window. "I knew there was a reason I married you. Well, that and... _this!_ " She leapt out of the window into freefall, shooting off a cable line three storeys down and laughing in delight the whole way.

Peter wasn't far behind, following her through each leap, fall, somersault and swing. Together they were two black and white clad figures dancing through the night sky.

For hours they continued their waltz through the rooftops, stopping every so often to break up the occasional mugging, bank robbery or other crimes they encountered. The poor schmucks didn't know what hit them. They were in perfect harmony to the point where no one and nothing could bring them down or get in their way.

They even encountered the ruthless mutant Sabretooth outside the Foreign Exchange, only for him to surrender quietly when he saw who he was up against. Nevertheless they decided to knock him around for awhile for good measure. They finally left him wrapped up and humiliated outside a pet store window, surrounded by pens of kittens and bowls of exotic fish.

Venom however was someone they decided to 'play' with for awhile. Once upon a time Peter might've stopped himself or Felicia from doing something like that, perhaps even calling it cruel and inhumane. But between his terrorizing Peter and brutalizing Felicia, among other things, Felicia had long ago gotten Spidey round to her way of thinking, making Venom an exception to any 'moral codes' they held.

They didn't bother calling the police in to deal with what was left of him once they were done. They didn't even talk much about it, instead continuing to race one another across the skyline. "Hey Spider, what's the matter? Can't you keep up with me?" Called Felicia over her shoulder as she propelled herself forward on a cable.

"Oh, you _know_ I can...I just happen to like the view from back here."

A moment later Felicia landed on a rooftop and turned around just as Peter landed in front of her. "The view from the front is pretty great too you know." She lifted his mask up over his mouth and pressed her body close to his as they kissed.

"Well...what do you wanna do now?" Asked Peter a minute or two later.

"Oh, I dunno. We could rip off Fisk again. Swiping his wife's jewels is always good for a laugh...Orrr..."

"Orrrr...? You want to steal those cat's eye emeralds from the Egyptian exhibit right?"

Felicia's smiled in surprise. "How did you know? I haven't said a word!"

"Cat, c'mon after all these years we've been together of course I can tell what you're thinking."

"Yeah, well...what am I thinking now?" Said Felicia in a breathy voice.

Peter paused for a moment then took off his mask and stared deeply into Felicia's eyes.

"You're thinking the same thing I am. 'I love you. I love you more than anyone and anything else in the world. And nothing I could ever give you could express what you mean to me.'...Although from me to you, maybe this will come a little close." Peter reached into his belt and pulled out a small bag tipping the contents into Felicia's hand. "Happy Birthday."

The bright green of the emeralds were matched only by Felicia's eyes, now wide in surprise and delight as she gazed upon the jewels. " _Oh Spider!_ I had no idea. When did you-"

"Last night. Planted some fakes in their place courtesy of the Tinkerer. The saps don't even know they're gone yet. And since it was me that took them they're not gonna be able to figure out who was behind it for a good long while. After all..." He wrapped his arms around Felicia's waist. "I had a very good teacher."

* * *

Sometime later, after they'd returned home to their luxury apartment in the Bedford Towers, Peter and Felicia caught a cab and headed back to the Ritz.

"Have I told you how much I'm loving your audacity Mr. Hardy." Whispered Felicia in the back of the cab.

"You mean us 'returning to the scene of the crime'? I didn't plan it that way you know. I just knew the hotel was nice so when the mood struck, it just seemed obvious is all...but we can pretend it's audacious anyway if you want."

"The Ritz chaps." interrupted the cab driver.

"How much do you want?" asked Felicia.

"I ain't like them other foreign cabbies love. For a bird like yerself, it's on me dear."

"Er...thanks." Felicia got out the cab with a slightly curious expression on her face. "Was it just me or did that English guy decide to change his accent?"

"Forget about the limey babe. We're missing the fun."

Felicia continued to stare after the cab as it drove off, but a moment later shrugged it off. As she turned around she bumped into a one legged man on crutches hobbling along the sidewalk. "Oh, I'm so sorry sir!" The man met Felicia's eye for a moment before turning his head down and continuing on his way.

"I'm usually more graceful than that. Hope I'm not getting old."

"Course not. It was just bad luck hon."

Felicia rolled her eyes. "Given who you're talking to, that'd make a twisted kind of sense I suppose."

"No. This is what makes sense." Peter moved forward and pulled Felicia in close once more.

"Hey, steady on Spi-Peter. No need to get-" She was cut off as Peter kissed her. Several seconds later they came up for air, Felicia shaking her head.

"What were we saying just now?"

"Nothing babe. C'mon everyone is waiting."

Arm in arm they entered the hotel, making their way to the venue where Peter had made reservations. It was in a room far away from the lobby, with hardly any guests or staff passing through. Walking down the hallway to the venue doors, the couple encountered an abrupt change in decoration. It was mostly aquarium themed as there were rows of goldfish bowls on the shelves leading to the door and bright green walls behind them. Coupled with the meagre light and the odd purple smoke around their feet as they reached the doors the effect was rather eerie.

"I've never seen anything like this in the Ritz." Said Felicia. "They must be trying something experi-"

" _HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELICIA!_ "

The dark room they'd walked into burst into light as dozens of party guests let off streamers and began a round of cheers and applause. Felicia grinned wide at the sight of all her guests. Removing some streamers from her hair she took an overly dramatic bow to her adoring public and alongside Peter began moving around the room, meeting and greeting her guests.

"Tamara you made it!"

Felicia embraced a woman with a short cut bob of brown hair.

"I wasn't about to miss by best friend's big day. Not even if showing up like this gets me caught by the cops."

"If Felicia doesn't let us get a look in, maybe _we'll_ be the ones doing the catching." Felicia turned to see Misty Knight, Colleen Wing and her other fellow friends from her 'Heroes for Hire' days.

"Guys it's so good to see you. It's been too long." Felicia moved forward to exchange hugs and kisses with her teammates.

"We could say the same thing." Felicia turned again this time facing Patsy Walker, Monica Rambeu and a happy, healthy Angelica Jones.

"Whoa! I never even expected you three to be here. Angelica how are-"

"Great Felicia. More than great! I'm as good as can be."

After exchanging further pleasantries, Felicia (accompanied by Peter) made similar greetings to more guests before spotting Flash at a table. Felicia slinked over and sat opposite him.

"Hey 'Licia." He said with a smile on his face, though there was a twinge of sadness there.

"Hiya Flash. Why so glum? It's a party you know."

"It...It's just...I look at you and Park-"

" _Mr._ _Hardy._ " Felicia interjected.

"Right. Sorry. You and...Pete. And...I'm happy for you both. I really, really am but...I keep thinking...It could've been me standing by you right now...I guess that makes me sound kinda bitter."

Felicia gave a dismissive shrug. "Maybe a little. But it's okay Flash. For the longest time I felt the way you did. And for what it's worth, it doesn't take away from what we had. And...it doesn't have to mean whenever the mood takes us we can't...have a little fun?"

"I still can't believe Peter is okay with our...arrangement."

"Peter understands. He knows sometimes a cat has to go off and prowl away from home for awhile. But she always comes back in the end."

"I don't suppose you'd like to _prowl_ by _me_ anytime soon would you?" Felicia looked up and saw the proud features of Thomas Fireheart, a.k.a. the Puma.

"Sorry, but right now I think me and Spider are gonna be pretty occupied with one another. Besides, I _prowled_ your way just last week."

"Has it really been that long?" Said Fireheart, arching an eyebrow.

Felicia shook her head and smiled as she got up. "You need to cool it Tom cat. Why don't you eye up these little fishies like a good kitty while I go mingle." She gestured at the fishbowls and left Fireheart and Flash staring after her longingly.

After several more minutes of mingling, Felicia made her way back to Peter. "I think that's just about everyone right? I mean excepting-"

"Me perhaps?"

Peter and Felicia's eyes widened as they looked upon...Mary Jane Watson.

"Hi Felicia. Hey tig-...Peter."

Felicia stole a quick glance at Peter and found him perfectly relaxed.

"Hi MJ. Actually we were talking about some other guests. In fact I don't recall you being on the invite list."

Mary Jane shrugged with imperfect casualness. "You know me. I can't resist a party. I'm friendly with the staff at the Ritz and some of them let slip a thing or two...Um...I got you a card."

She handed over a black envelop with Felicia's name on it. Felicia opened it up and found a normal birthday card with a perfectly friendly (albeit generic) message about birthday wishes written above MJ's name.

"Thank you." She said neutrally.

There was an awkward silence before MJ finally spoke again.

"Look...I'm not quite sure why I came here. Maybe it was...I dunno...jealousy. Maybe I had some vague idea about spoiling this for you, or trying to come between you both. But, when I saw you together a few minutes ago...Well...whatever I was going to do I'm not going to do it now."

Felicia gave MJ an inquisitive look, though trying to look unphased. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying...I know I can't come between you two. What you have it's...it's what me and Peter used to have. Or..." She glanced sadly at Peter. "...what _I_ thought we had. I wasn't right for him, never was. _You_ were and I don't want to come between that again. I care about Peter too much to do that and Hell...however..." MJ closed her eyes and seemed to brace herself. "However _envious_ I might be of you Felicia for, God...so many things, I think deep down I care about you as well. So what I am saying is I'm sorry I kept you two apart for so long. You've got nothing to worry about from me and...I hope you both will be very happy."

Felicia looked at Mary Jane straight in the eye and a mutual acceptance passed between them. A long overdue ceasefire seemed at last to have been settled. Mary Jane gave a curt little nod to them both and began to walk away. "You could stay if you wanted MJ."

MJ turned around to face the couple once again. "Thank you but...I think it'll be best for everyone if I just get out of your way. I've been debating leaving New York for good and now I really don't have any reason to stay. Modelling and acting just haven't panned out for me so I'm just gonna start over fresh."

"That...That's probably for the best. Good luck Mary Jane, I really mean that."

"Thanks Felicia. And...happy birthday again." Mary Jane turned around once more and walked out the door and out of sight.

"Didn't you want to say any last goodbyes to her Spider? You _were_ married to her after all."

Peter gave a small smile and shook his head. "There was nothing to be said Felicia. Whatever we had is long over and it's with perspective I can finally see it was never that great to begin with. I don't love her and really...I don't think I ever did. Our whole relationship was just me rebounding from...well...from losing you. She was nice I guess, but...just not right for me. She wasn't...exciting enough. You know, like you've always said...Mary Plain right?"

Felicia chuckled. "Heh, yeah, I have always liked that nickname. I feel a little bad about it now that we've 'made our peace' though."

"Don't sweat it Cat. It's _because_ you're bad that _we're_ so good." Peter gave Felicia a quick kiss before continuing. "Without you I could never really be...me. The person I was always supposed to be. All that guilt, all that responsibility. It was destroying me until you came along and set me free. MJ...she just made dealing with that stuff easier. But at the end of the day she was just a reminder of all that crap. Kind of like...what was her name? The blonde 'girl next door' type I saw for awhile."

"Ginny Stonely or something right?"

"Yeah, whatever. MJ, was kind of like her. But that's never been what I've needed. All I've really needed...was you. Because Cat...you complete me..."

Felicia knew she had heard the words a thousand times before. Yet somehow this time it was like it was the first time. The first time she'd heard what she'd really always wanted to hear from the love of her life. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply for several minutes.

"I love you. You know that Spider? I really, really love you."

He smirked. "Well, I _did_ have a hunch about that a little while back. But hey, we can't just stand around like this all night. It's a party remember. We're gonna have plenty of time to be together later, and tomorrow and the day after that and...well for as long as they've been together probably."

A look of light confusion crossed Felicia's face "Who are you talking about Spider?"

"Why them of course." Felicia looked to where Peter was gesturing and saw an older man and woman standing at the entrance to the venue. The woman walked up and hugged Felicia warmly.

"Happy birthday sweetheart. I'm sorry we weren't here from the start but the commute took longer than Walter thought it would."

"That's okay Mom. No point crying over spilt milk right?" Lydia Hardy laughed.

"Ah well, I've never liked being late kitten. Especially not for you."

"Hey that doesn't matter. You're here now Daddy." Felicia released her mother to embrace Walter Hardy tightly and didn't let go for rather longer than was necessary. By the time she had Lydia had disappeared.

"Hey, what's this now? I thought you'd be _glad_ to see me?"

"I-I am."

"Then why are you crying kitten?"

Felicia raised a hand to her face and indeed felt tears there. She wiped them away hastily.

"I...I don't know. I'm happy I guess. I'm...I'm happier than I've ever...than..." Distantly, a horrible thought crossed Felicia's mind and she took a step back. She banished it from her thoughts with a quick shake of her head and tried to compose herself.

"Keep that up and you'll have enough tears to fill all these fishbowls." Chuckled Walter.

"Wh...what?"

"The fishbowls kitten. The place is filled with fishbowls. Funny really, don't see too many of those now do you.-"

"No...you...you don't...I guess...Why...I'm sorry why are we talking about dumb fishbowls? C'mon we've got to get on with the party. Oh, but first come and say hello to Peter Dad. You haven't seen him in so lo-"

Walter didn't seem to have heard her.

"I have to say, the decoration at this place is rather odd isn't it. All these fishbowls and such.-"

"Hey Dad, remember what you said when you met Peter for the first time? You said you couldn't think of anyone better to marry your little kitten? And-"

"And then there is all this purple smoke. It's all mystery to me why anyone thought to put that together with the fishbowls. Not to mention these green walls. Looks garish don't you think kitten...?"

"And you cried at the wedding. Mom had to hold your hand the whole way through. She liked Peter too. She said if only she was 20 years youn-"

"Although they probably have some European decorator who thinks this is looks _artistic_ or some such. _Foreigners_ can be like that you know. They'd probably think it the height of fashion to take one of those bowls and wear it on top of-"

"Dad! Would you _please_ stop talking about the stupid decor!"

Walter Hardy stared intensely into his daughter's burning green eyes.

"No kitten. I'm afraid I can't...And you know why. Don't you."

Felicia felt a tightness in her chest.

"I'm going to go find Peter." She said coldly, turning away from her father.

As she stormed off her father called out to her. "Don't you think this is all a bit odd kitten?"

" _No!_ " She yelled back.

"Really? Nothing at all out of place? Nothing mysterious going on at all?"

"I said _NO!_ Everything is the way it should be."

Out of nowhere Lydia grabbed Felicia's arm, stopping her in her tracks. "Is it dear?" She asked.

" _Yes!_ Of course it is!" Felicia wrenched her arm out of her mother's grip. "Look. Everyone is here and everyone is happy."

"Flash doesn't look too happy dear." Said Lydia quietly.

"Of course he doesn't! He's broken hearted that he didn't marry me when I asked. But it's okay, we still see each other sometimes."

"But would Flash really want to see you again like that Felicia?"

"Obviously! He had the best thing in the world when he was with me and he threw it away. He's probably been sore about it ever since, poor sap."

" _'Probably'_? You don't sound so sure, like you haven't spoken to him much recently."

"I'm not discussing me and Flash with you mother!" Felicia turned away from Lydia and resumed her search for Peter.

She continued to move amongst the crowd of party guests, looking back only quickly to see her mother following behind and her father moving oddly slowly in her direction.

"Well then, Mary Jane didn't seem very happy either."

" _What a surprise_. She's just resigned herself to the fact that _I won_. Peter loves _me_ and not _her_."

"Does Mary Jane really strike you as the sort of person who'd give up like that though?"

Felicia stubbornly refused to look at her mother as she answered. "When you're up against _me_ , who wouldn't give up?"

"Well, Sabretooth for one de-"

"How would you know?! You've never met Sabretooth mother. You've never even met MJ. Hell, you weren't even here when she left hours ago."

"Your right so how _could_ I know? Weren't you a private investigator Felicia? Don't you find that rather myster-"

"No! I don't find it myster- _odd!_ You probably passed her by on your way in when she was leaving."

"But you just said she'd left long before me and your father ar-"

"She was hanging outside the hotel when you arrived!"

"For hours and hours?"

"Sure, why not? Sometimes it's hard to get a cab in New York."

"Hmm maybe...And maybe she should've looked in on that British person who dropped you off here? He seemed nice didn't he? Even though his accent seemed inconsistent."

Felicia ignored her mother and continued searching the crowd for Peter. It wasn't easy because the crowd seemed to be congesting around her, making it hard to move. "Peter! Hey Spider, where are you?"

"Now Felicia is it really a good idea to yell out like that, people might find out he is Spider-Man. I mean you have been pretty careless about that throughout the party haven't you?"

"Shut up mother! My marriage to Peter is none of your business."

"Oh speaking of businesses, did you hear about the museum? Apparently Spider-Man stole their priceless emeralds. Well, he always did seem the type didn't he? Never had a guilty bone in his body, and so irresponsible at times."

"That's not true! He isn't like that!"

"No Felicia...he isn't..."

" _No,_ I mean...I mean he didn't _used_ to be like that. But I changed him. I fixed him. Because I love him. Because I know him better than anyone else, so I know he's happier this way."

"I'm sure you are right dear. How _did_ you change him by the way? He seemed very at odds with your sort of lifestyle when you first began dating didn't he? Almost like he just didn't have it in him to be like you, to be like-"

"Well, I'm a really great teacher! I just got him to relax and see things my way. To stop taking things so serious-getoutofmywayAngelica!" Felicia shoved Angelica aside as she continued to struggle through the crowd.

"And you did a wonderful job dear. He's just about everything you could ever want. After all _now_ he's just like your father."

Felicia scowled.

"That's sick moth- Peter!" She spotted Peter distantly through the crowd and the purple smoke. She began pushing against the crowd more to get to him. Her mother however seemed nonplussed.

"Oh no, it's quite natural. Your father wasn't there most of your life so you immersed yourself in everything you could find out about him. A mysterious, charming, devil-may-care lawbreaker. You fell in love with that idea didn't you dear. So it's little wonder that when you learned of a man who seemed cut from a similar cloth you were as smitten as a kitten. And they do say sons fall for women like their mothers and daughters for men like their fathers. Although I always had hopes that you and Tanny might-"

" _Fine!_ Maybe I fell for Peter because he was kind of like Dad. But what's wrong with that? Dad's great. Dad's wonderful." Peter was closer now, but the crowd seemed to be pressing in on Felicia even more than before.

"Then why are you running away from him?" Inquired Lydia.

"I'm not running away from Dad, I'm...I'm just tired of him talking about dumb fishbowls and would rather spend some time with my husband if you don't mind." Felicia continued pushing against the crowd.

"Your husband who is like your father?"

"Yeah sure! Peter is like my Dad. That's great because-Peter!" Peter was a few feet away from Felicia now. He turned around and gave her a wide inviting grin. The crowd though seemed determined to make Felicia's passage difficult, jostling her back a few inches. She pushed harder against them and managed to get one arm free, reaching out to grasp Peter's hand.

"My my, the crowd is thick here isn't it kitten."

At the sound of her father's voice the tightness in Felicia's chest returned and she began rapidly inhaling and frantically struggling against the crowd, as though trying to not be drowned by them.

"I wouldn't have thought there could be so many people in a room like this. It didn't seem that big at first did it? So how can there be this many people? Most mysterious. Very much like the smoke and the fishbowls."

Felicia struggled yet more frantically.

"You were saying dear? It's a good thing Peter is like your father because...?"

She stretched her arm and finger tips as far as she could.

"Oh look kitten the purple smoke is getting thicker. Well at least that means we won't have to stare at those dreadful bowls anymore eh? Wasn't I saying to you earlier that someone might wear one of them like a helm-"

Felicia grabbed Peter's hand! Wasting no time she promptly pulled herself free of the crowd. Peter greeted her cheerfully.

"Hey Cat. Where've you been? I've missed you."

"I...Doesn't matter." Felicia hugged Peter tight. "Tell me again what you were telling me earlier."

"You mean 'I love you'?"

"Yeah, that and all the other stuff about how you need me and I made you better and you never really loved Mary Jane." She was speaking rather quickly now, desperation underlying her tone. "Tell me all that stuff from the top. Then when you're done tell me a few more times. And maybe at some point we'll go home or prowl the rooftops or maybe even head up to one of the hotel rooms again."

"Of course we will Cat. We'll do all that stuff. Because we're finally together like we're supposed to be. We're finally going to be happy, just like your Mom and Dad."

"Ohhhh, _that's_ what you were going to say dear."

"...oh no..." Whispered Felicia.

"You were going to say that because Peter is like your father the two of you are going to be happy just like him and me are?"

" _SHUT UP!_ " Screamed Felicia. She broke away from Peter and whipped round to face her parents. "Both of you just _shut up!_ Leave us alone!"

"But why would you want us to leave dear? Don't you want to see us? Don't you love us?" Asked Felicia's mother.

"I...Of course I want to see you. Of course I love you."

"And we love you too. We want you to be happy. _Truly_ happy. Truly happy with Peter just like me and your mother are. Don't you love how happy the two of us are together?"

"Y-Yes." The reply was almost childlike.

"We might be old but we've had a lot of good years with one another. And you remember some of those times don't you Felicia? They were good times weren't they? The three of us all together."

Felicia nodded slowly, tears began to well in her eyes. "They were the best."

Walter Hardy smiled dotingly at his daughter. "They were indeed...They were the very, very best times...but Felicia...you know they weren't real don't you?"

Felicia stood there in silence amidst the thick purple smoke. Everyone but herself, Peter and her parents seemed to have vanished.

"Yo-You're wrong! They _were_ real!"

"No." Her mother shook her head sadly. "They weren't."

"Stop saying that Mom! Just stop it! Stop it right now or else I'm going to _make_ you stop it!"

Felicia took a sharp step forward, her teeth bared and her fingers (tipped with rather sharp nails) flexed.

"You can't hurt us Felicia, we're not really here. None of this is really here. Deep down you've known that all along. You've been trying to tell yourself that this whole time, but you've also been trying to lie to yourself too. To keep this wonderful little dream alive. But I'm sorry kitten, now you have to-"

" _I don't have to do anything Dad!_ I'm the Black Cat! I do what I want! I _take_ what I want! And if anyone who crosses my path gets in my way, then bad luck for them! You can't _make_ me do anything!"

"But _we_ aren't trying to make you do anything dear. _You_ are trying to make yourself do something. We already told you, we aren't really here. We're just a part of you. The part that is trying to help you, to make you _truly_ happy."

"If you wanted me to be truly happy then you'd stop this! Just let me be here with my friends and with Spider and-"

"Pretending like this won't make you happy Felicia. In your heart you know that. Deep down, you know can't live in a dream."

"Who says this is a dream?! This is New York, there are crazy super people all over the place. This could all be real, the two of you could've just been mind controlled. As for the crowd, this room is bigger than I thought and...and...And someone should take a look at that smoke machine!"

"...Felicia...dear, we all know you're just lying to-."

"I'm tired of hearing this garbage! Spider tell them. Tell them this is all real, that you and me are real. Go on, tell them-"

"I love you." Peter's reply was almost mechanical, and he said it with a somewhat vacuous look on his face.

"I love you too Spider, but will you please tell my parents that-"

"I can't live without you Felicia."

"I know, and we can put all that to the test later, after we get done-"

"You're the most gorgeous-"

"Peter _please!_ Tell my parents this is-"

"It's too late Felicia." Lydia cut in. "You can't lie to yourself anymore. Your dream is breaking down and it won't last much longer. See, all your friends have already vanished. There is nothing left here but us now."

Felicia wrapped her arms around Peter's neck and kissed him hard. " _I don't care!_ I've got him. I don't need anything else. I don't _want_ anything else!" She stared fixedly at Peter, refusing to turn her head an inch. "So long as I've got him, this is real okay. Nothing you can say will change my mi-"

"Aright kitten. Alright. You win." Her father's voice was soft and appeasing, though Felicia did not turn around to look at him. "You're right, this is all real. This room is bigger than you realized, everyone is just lost in the fog, and of course Spider-Man loves you. He's always loved you and you are going to be happy together just like me and your mother are." He paused for a moment, and for that moment the tightness in Felicia's chest eased up. "I just have one question though. Before we leave you two in peace."

"...What?" Felica asked venomously, not breaking her fixed gaze on Peter.

"All those good times you, me and your mother had. Those same times that you and Peter are going to live out together...How could they have happened if I died years ago?"

Felicia's mind went blank.

There was no tightness in her chest now. She just felt very, very numb.

"You...you didn't die years ago. You're standing right there behind me." Her reply was as numb as she felt.

"The same way Peter is standing right there in front of you. But kitten...how can that be? I must have died because you first met Peter when you broke me out of prison. Remember, you wanted me to die at home with you and your mother. I must have died, because if I didn't, wouldn't I have been there for you when you were locked up? Wouldn't I have been at your bedside after that maniac with metal arms hurt you? Wouldn't I have told you it was all alright after Peter broke your heart, and after he married Mary Jane? Wouldn't I have been worried about you when you decided to break Norman Osborn out of prison? Because if I am the wonderful father you think I am, if I loved you more than anything else in the world like you remember I do...how could I have _not_ been there for you all these years?...Unless I was dead..."

Felicia's arms slowly left Peter's neck and limply fell to her sides. "...You...You..."

"...and if I am dead I couldn't be here right now could I kitten?..."

"...I...This..."

"...Which means..."

"...This isn't real..." Breathed Felicia. "...And..."

"...And it's time to wake up kitten. I'm so sorry...but it's time to wake up."

The purple smoke began swirling around them, but Felicia didn't break her gaze from Peter. She clenched her fists and her face set into a cold expression. Tears nevertheless rolled down her cheeks.

"One question...Daddy...Who is responsible for this?"

"Oh Felicia...you know who. You've been trying to tell yourself that the whole time too. You're probably going to remember the moment you wake up."

"...Good..." She said icily. And as if it was a whisper in the air, Felicia heard her father speak one last time.

"Goodbye kitten."

"Goodbye Daddy." It was a flat monotone voice, as though Felicia was trying very, very hard to pretend she didn't care about what was happening. Despite this she took a deep breath before addressing the person before her.

"Goodbye Spider."

"Felicia, I love-"

But before Peter could finish, the swirling purple smoke enveloped him and she was alone. The smoke swirled more ferociously now, whipping Felicia's hair about her. Through it all she didn't move but, just stared blankly into space until finally...she closed her eyes.

* * *

Francis Klum had not lived the best life.

He'd endured unspeakable horrors at the hand of his drug dealing brother. He endured the stigma of being a mutant. And his career as the new Mysterio had been less than successful.

He'd obtained the identity of the master of illusion following an altercation with Spider-Man and the Black Cat on a bridge. He saved himself thanks to his superhuman ability of teleportation, but it came at the cost of horrific scars and the loss of his leg.

Since then he'd nursed a grudge against both Spider-Man and to a lesser extent the Black Cat. To help get the revenge he desired he purchased the identity of Mysterio from Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin of Crime. His foray against Spider-Man had however not gone as ideally as he'd hoped, and he'd found himself wounded and mortally poisoned. The poison however was not instantaneous, but instead slow and painful, even inhibiting the use of his mutant abilities. Klum was thus left with no hope of another assault on Spider-Man or the Black Cat.

However, he'd been approached by a certain powerful benefactor who had impressive resources and close ties with the Kingpin himself. It was from Fisk that the benefactor had learned of Klum's vendetta and had consequently contacted him. He had his own axe to grind against the Black Cat and suggested they form an alliance. The benefactor already had a plan but Klum would be providing the tech and expertise to pull it off. The idea wasn't to kill the Cat but, in the benefactor's words:

"To make it sting."

After he got done explaining it, Klum wasn't convinced, feeling it would be easier to simply murder the woman and be done with it. As time went by though he'd mostly come round to the benefactor's way of thinking. And what little part of him still had doubts didn't think it wise to irk the man. Dying as he was, Klum had no desire to make his last days any worse than they already were, which he had no doubt the benefactor could arrange.

And so the plan had gone into motion. Black Cat had been sent a message from her old friend Tamara Blake asking for her help. The story was that a powerful crime boss had targeted her due to her stealing from him. Black Cat diligently met Tamara at the warehouse she'd specified. Only it wasn't Tamara at all, but an illusion that Klum had managed to pull off. As Tamara vanished in a puff of purple smoke, the Cat was consequently cornered by dozens of armed mercenaries, who'd covered all possible escape routes. Nevertheless, Black Cat had managed to fight her way to freedom and, bruised and battered as she was, had almost slipped through their fingers.

Almost.

The benefactor himself had gone to the scene and easily subdued the Cat before she got too far. He and Klum (garbed in his full Mysterio regalia) had watched satisfactorily as she dimly registered their presence before slipping into unconsciousness. After that they transported her to another warehouse, one that had been used by the original Mysterio for a failed attempt at uncovering Spider-Man's identity.

His scheme had been to hook up half a dozen or so people to a machine which would create an elaborate mental fantasy where they could all interact together. Since all the abductees were connected to Spider-Man in some way, Mysterio had hoped to uncover the Wall-crawler's secret identity.

The plan had run afoul after the mind of one of the victims (a certain Eugene 'Flash' Thompson) had somehow asserted dominance over everyone else shaping the fantasy world into one fuelled by his own greatest desires.

Using Klum's access and knowledge of Mysterio's technology, coupled with some hired experts, the machine had been renovated and modified. What was once an unforeseen flaw in the machine was turned into its primary purpose. Once activated the machine would construct a mental illusion shaped by the deepest desires and fantasies of whoever was hooked into it.

In theory it was the perfect prison. A wonderful dream the inmate would never want to wake up from, and one that subconsciously they'd strive to maintain. Of course that would depend on the individual, as those with particularly strong wills or a nose for deduction stood a chance of recognizing the fantasy for what it was and probably fighting to free themselves.

The benefactor, knowing the Cat as he did (he'd claimed they were once 'intimate'), suspected this would be the case for her and so safeguards were built into the machine. Checks to distract the mind of their intended victim and keep the fantasy going.

But the beauty of the benefactor's plan was that the fantasy didn't even need to be permanent. It wasn't intended as a prison. It just needed to last long enough for the Cat to, in his words:

"Make it sting."

And so Black Cat had been 'plugged' into the machine. And for almost twenty four hours, she'd been blissfully living out the life she'd always wanted. What this precisely entailed Klum didn't know, his job was just to help monitor the Cat and the equipment.

It was a task he was currently failing at, though not entirely of his own fault. Between the grievous bodily injuries he'd suffered coupled with the poison that was now killing him, Klum often found himself enduring spasms of pain for minutes at a time. His current spasm had caused him to double over, his back to the monitoring equipment. The small group of staff assisting him in his task all rushed over to help.

Amidst the gaggle of worried voices, Klum's cries of pain, and the general confusion no one heard the sound of someone moving behind them.

Someone who was not happy at all.

* * *

Felicia Hardy was not a monster.

Whilst she had at times been branded a costumed criminal, she was a far cry from the true sadistic lunatics like Carnage or the Green Goblin. In fact she had (more or less) avoided killing anyone altogether.

No. Felicia was not a monster.

But she was a cat.

And when the occasion arose, cats could be creatures of spite. And it was this particular feline quality that drove Felicia to dive, claws bared, upon the huddle of people crowding over a green and purple clad figure.

She didn't aim to kill, but she only just barely managed to stop herself from maiming anyone with a well placed swipe. Seconds later the crowd scattered for the exits, nursing nasty cuts, a few broken bones and a large collection of ugly bruises.

Eventually, they were alone.

Felicia and Klum.

Black Cat and Mysterio.

Klum had rolled onto his back, unable to do anything whilst his body continued to spasm in pain.

Felicia wasted no time.

She pounced on him and savagely slashed at every part of him she could, each swipe punctuated by an agonized scream echoing from within Klum's bowl shaped helmet.

Swipe.

Scream.

Swipe.

Scream.

Swipe.

Scream.

Some part of her at the back of her mind knew that later, maybe not today or even in the next month, but _later_ , she'd regret doing this.

She knew who Klum was and knew his sad story. He'd been a victim most of his life and had even saved her from a similar fate. His encounter with her and Spider-Man had left him worse off than before and maybe some part of Felicia even felt responsible for that.

But right now she didn't care.

Right now she hated him with every atom of her being and whatever else he'd been through, nothing justified what he'd done to Felicia. And for that she was going to make him feel just the tiniest part of the pain she was feeling at this moment.

Swipe.

Scream.

Swipe.

Scream.

Swipe.

Scream.

On and on the savage rhythm went until at last...she was done.

Felicia was panting heavily through gritted teeth when she finally got up off of Klum and surveyed her work.

Klum lay amidst glistening crimson blood and tattered ribbons of green and purple cloth. Little in fact identified him as Mysterio save the absurd helmet, itself covered in flecks of blood.

Dimly Felicia noted that despite her frenzy she'd somehow managed to restrain herself enough to not kill. For all the wounds he now had, if Klum got to a hospital in time he'd live.

For Felicia though, that was an awfully big if.

She bent down to Klum, causing him to whimper. He was evidently in too much pain to actually move away from her. Felicia however did nothing more than rip off his helmet and roughly toss it aside where it shattered like glass.

Had Felicia been calmer she might've been taken aback by Klum's ravaged features. She might've felt sympathy, or even disgust. But Felicia was far beyond anything like that at this moment. At this moment her only reaction to Klum was to look him dead in the eyes and utter a single word:

" _Why?_ "

It was said in a shaking voice, but one laced with venom all the same.

Klum just stared back at her trying to catch his breath.

"I said... _WHY?!_ "

Felicia spat the last word out and flexed her bloodstained claws menacingly. Klum gulped and then winced. The action had evidently hurt more than he expected. Nevertheless slowly, rasping and inhaling as he went along, he began to reply.

"...He...He...wan...ted...it...to...to... _sting_...He...wanted...pay...back...for loving him...and...betraying him...He...he said this...was better than ki...than killing you...Said...said you'd...have to live...with this...En...Envelope..."

Klum's eyes darted to the left. Felicia moved towards a table and saw a small envelope with her name on it. She picked it up and opened it. Upon observing the contents Felicia's eyes burned with yet more hatred.

They'd worked together.

They'd been lovers.

She knew he was dangerous and a 'means justify the ends' sort of man.

And she knew she'd burned him, if not personally than at least professionally and he wasn't going to take that lightly. The success of a professional mercenary and assassin, even one who is the head of an organization of them, depends much upon reputation.

But she couldn't have realized that, as cutthroat as he was (often literally), he could be _this_ cruel.

After all it had been years. Years since they'd last seen one another. Years since she'd pretended to help him recruit Spider-Man as part of her own game playing them both. Years since she'd ruined his plans and gone on to evade his clutches.

In all that time she was sure he'd resigned himself to failure, or else simply considered her small fry. She'd sometimes wondered if in fact he might even have held a soft spot for her.

But no.

Apparently none of that applied to the man. Whether preoccupiedpreoccupied with other business or else biding his time for something extra special, the Foreigner had not forgotten her. The signed contents of the envelope had made that clear.

"...Can't...leave...me..."

Felicia automatically looked down at the mess that was Klum. He'd been in on this. He'd helped make it happen. She didn't owe him anything. But...Felicia Hardy was not a monster.

She was however...a cat.

There was a phone on the table where the envelope had been. She picked it up and slowly walked over to Klum. She stared at him. There was no rage or malice on her face. She was passed that at the moment. Instead she fixed him with a feline look of cold indifference. She kneeled down and placed the phone close by Klum's body. Close...but not quite in arm's reach.

She stood up and took another look at Klum. His eyes were pleading with her. She turned away and walked out the door, not bothering to close it behind her.

A moment later a gust of wind blew in from the open door, causing the blood stained contents of the envelope to fly off the table and lightly fall on the floor.

Despite the bright and loud words and pictures, the printed message on the card's cover was a simple one.

Happy Birthday.


End file.
